Konami sells Silent Hill license to pachinko manufactors

The once proud staple of classic gaming creations, Konami announced that the next Silent Hill will be one you pay for a few quarters at a time.

Officially taking over the top spot of most hated game studio, overtaking EA’s ten year reign, Konami crushed gamer’s sweet nightmares of the gloriously received Silent Hills with Guillermo Del Toro and Hideo Kojima heading and starring our favorite Walking Dead archer Norman Reedus by cancelling the game over an utter hatred of Kojima constantly swiping from executive’s lunch boxes and sipping their soda when they weren’t looking.

You may remember seeing this image cycle through the internet and getting a warm and fuzzy feeling tingling throughout your body whenever it came through your feed.


But alas, the only Silent Hill game we can expect a future launch of looks more like this:


This reporter would like it known for the record that Konami is dead to me. Deader than James Sunderland’s wife. And YOU killed her Konami. Don’t try to blame the dog.

PS: This cake report is not a lie. But it should be. And you should be ashamed Konami. I hope Pyramid Head corners you in a closet and makes you smell his breath for all eternity.


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